Tuesday, October 28, 2025

Venezuela by Jesse Welles

2500 miles away from the American border,

there's a boat humming along with a 100 miles worth of gas.

It's got some fisherman out there in it.

Little do they know but here in a minute they'll be sunk down to the bottom and

dead from an American blast.

Now our infallible intelligence knows a whole lot about them.

See, these are Narco Terrorists with drugs strapped to their back.

Now, it's the same intelligence that had the perfect wisdom in the real

good sense to know there's weapons of mass destruction hidden in Iraq.

Well, if your leader is a fugitive of American justice, and if your people need a

liberation from their own soil,

If you're a threat to our national security, well, we're probably just in

need of your oil.

How much fentanyl does Venezuela make? Well, Johnny, that's

about 0%.

See, China ships the precursors into Mexico. They mix them in

a lab, then they press them into pills and ship them up to Uncle Sam.

Oh, well then, how much cocaine does Venezuela produce?

Well, Johnny, that's a goose egg, too.

But don't you worry your little head, cuz they're all just going

to be like dead.

Some call it murder. Some call it justice. You can call it

whatever you like, but dry your liberal tears cuz you know around here we

call a presidentially authorized lethal kinetic strike.

Well, if it looks like al-Qaeda and smells like ISIS, you're headed down

the road for a refugee crisis.

Well, they can dangle the Nobel carrot out in front of the mule, but I

guess it wasn't orange enough to really pull the card.

Pete and Marco, come out of the closet and say you're coming on in for

that oil deposit.

The only war you'll ever end is the one you start.

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