Quotes from US comedian Lenny Bruce (1922-1966)
"A lot of people say to me, "Why did you kill
Christ?" "I dunno... it was one of those parties, got out of hand,
you know." "We killed him because he didn't want to become a doctor,
that's why we killed him."
"All my humour is based upon destruction and despair. If the
whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the
breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover."
"Every day people are straying away from the church and going
back to God."
"I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in
the park there's nothing else to do."
"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own
coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."
"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school
children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of
crosses."
"In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls."
"Miami Beach is where neon goes to die."
"Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the
public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous,
when you think about it."
"The "what should be" never did exist, but people
keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is
only what is."
"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't
understand them."
"The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake
it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you
away, man. You can't."
"The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are
- it's "Look at me, Ma!" It's acceptance, you know - "Look at
me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma." And if your mother watches,
you'll show off till you're exhausted; but if your mother goes, Ptshew!"
"Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take
away the right to say "fuck the government!".
"The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a
minimum of once every fifteen seconds."
"There are never enough I Love You's."
"You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie
because there is never any truth."
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